The Nigerian Terror Scourge

Of course, by now, the whole world (or at least anyone who matters) has heard of the Nigerian scumbag who ignited an incendiary device on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, and how a heroic group of passengers and flight attendants thwarted his cowardly deed.

Well, another Nigerian, on another flight from Amsterdam to Detroit this afternoon, did something that didn't quite pass the smell test (no pun intended). This guy locked himself in the bathroom for an hour, so the crew took no chances, and had the police waiting when the plane landed. Yes, I know in-flight food isn't the best, but still, if you're innocent, you should've asked for some Pepto, dude.

And by the way, what the hell have you Nigerians got against Detroit??? Consider yourselves lucky, we could've sent you Kwame Kilpatrick. (Which means Texas should be declaring war on us any day now...)

Makes me long for the days when Nigerians just sent out requests for us to send $3,000 so that we could get our inheritance from our long-lost Nigerian relatives.

Ah, the good ol' days.

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EDIT: It turns out that this most recent guy REALLY DID need Pepto, and that's all it was. Still, better safe than sorry (and I hope he's feeling better).

A Beautiful Mime

This movie came out wayyyyy back in 2001, yet somehow I never got around to seeing it until recently, courtesy of Neckflipz. It starred Russell the Crow (don't know how he ever got that name, I would've thought Russell the Orangutan might be more appropriate) and Jennifer Comely.


Anyway, Russell the Crow stars as Nash Rambler, some mathy super-geek guy (although not as super-geeky as Rain Man, or even Charlie from NUMB3RS) who starts working with top-secret government guys. Only, wouldn't ya know it, the government guys DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. (Wow, that would be awesome if many REAL people in the govt. didn't exist!!!)

This movie really ticked me off. Not because of the wacky plot (heck, that might've been kinda fun... I mean, nothing says fun like imaginary govt. employees... well, except maybe Wynonna Judd in a vat of pudding... but I digress... as usual...)

No, but what really got me mad is: THERE ARE NO MIMES IN THE MOVIE. NOT EVEN ONE.

I kept thinking that maybe Marcel Marceau might pop in there, even for a minute or two. (Yes, I know he's dead now, but he wasn't when the movie was made.) Maybe he could've done that pretend-he's-in-a-box thing, I don't know. But nope, no Marcel.


Now, people who know me, know that I like to be flexible. I thought to myself, maybe they're going to stick a clown in there, and CALL HIM a mime. Nope, no clown, either.


Hell, at this point, they could've even had Smokey & the Miracles singing "Tears of a Clown". But alas, it was not to be.


Anyway, I was so upset that I put the DVD back into the envelope and sent it back to Neckflipz. As a replacement, they sent some movie called "Bad Santa". There's gotta be some mistake. This has to be a contradiction in terms, kinda like "jumbo intelligence" or "military shrimp". I mean, everybody knows that Santa is GOOD, right?

Bless me.