Un-shopped! (or: Victim of the Cart Nazi)

The strangest thing happened to me at the grocery store recently. I was happily shopping, had maybe seven or eight items in my cart, when I decided to make a quick trip to the restroom. I was in there maybe a grand total of THREE minutes (hey, I had to wash my hands, y'know), and when I came out, my cart was GONE!

Now I could understand if my cart had been there for a long time, say, a half-hour or so. But that wasn't the case. I'm imagining that the store's Cart Nazi is an evil, vindictive bastard, who scours the aisles in search of carts that have been left alone for just a scant few seconds, seeking to traumatize poor unsuspecting shoppers. I tried to think of the many ways I could deal with this problem. I thought, maybe we could put photos of the missing cart on milk cartons, but the lead time it would take to set this plan in motion would be prohibitive (not to mention that John Walsh would kick my ass if we ever met).

Eventually, I went and got another cart, and re-shopped for all the items I'd had in my previous cart. (It was just like deja vu all over again.) For a hot minute, I parked my cart in the same spot, and hung back a bit, waiting to catch the Cart Nazi in my devious little trap. But, it finally dawned on me that he (or she) might be out taking a doughnut break, and I really did have better things to do with my time than to spend it on a grocery store stake-out.

So, if you work as a Cart Nazi for a grocery store, stop and think for a minute before you take someone's cart. The life you save may be your own.